So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
