I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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