i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
