I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
