i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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