no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
