Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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