I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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