Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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