how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
