There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize