i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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