Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
