Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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