I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
