Im at strip club and am horny
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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