Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Randomize
