No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
