Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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