so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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