No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We are two peas in an std pod
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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