I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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