Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
