More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize