so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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