Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
