Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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