I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
