alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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