I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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