i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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