We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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