Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
