So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
