you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
