would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
