Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
