I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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