Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
