what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
