just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
