You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I could make wine with my vomit
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
