so explain again why im purple
no
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
