Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
