Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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