I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
