FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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