try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
