He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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