oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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