Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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