where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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