im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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