Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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