The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
