last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
