Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
