I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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