My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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