her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
