okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
