Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
