I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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