i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
