I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize