The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
