Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
