I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
