I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
