I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
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billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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