Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
