i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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