What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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