it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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