i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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