Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Every concussion has its silver lining
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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