My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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