i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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