note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
