I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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